Enjoying Life with the Ones We Love Most

When I consider what "The Best Thing" is in this wonderful unschooling life of ours, I would have to say it is the freedom to enjoy life with the ones we love.  I honestly cannot imagine only seeing my children for a few hours at the start and end of our day.  We are blessed with the opportunity to be with each other all day, every day, and that has done some amazing things in our lives.

First, and most importantly, unschooling and having the freedom of simply being together has allowed us to lean on each other during this emotionally hard past year.  My daughters and I had ample free time to cuddle, to talk, to question and discuss, to vent, to cry, to comfort, all with the most important and closest people to each of us:  each other.  All the while, we kept our healing our number one concern, not curriculum, not a set schedule, not the every day rat race.  I was able to continue being the constant in their life that they so desperately needed.  I fought hard to keep the ability to do this for them, and despite what anyone thinks, I don't regret it for one second. 

It's amazing how the relationships within our family have grown.  My kids have become the very best of friends, and it warms my heart.  I love that they aren't separated because they're different ages.  They get the opportunity to learn and explore together, and they think it's awesome.  My 7 year old teaches the 3 year old so much, and constantly!  At the same time, the 3 year old helps my 7 year old hang on to that childish imagination, creativity, and enthusiasm for even the simplest things in life.  Thankfully, they both do the same for me.

My children have also had so much opportunity to bond with my mom.  Because my kids aren't rushing to get ready in the mornings, they have that time every day to spend with their grandma, helping her start her days on a good note. If she happens to get off work early, we could meet up for sorbet at the local froyo place, or shaved ice, or an early dinner.  The evenings are nice, too, as my oldest and my mom have a mutual favorite show, and it's so neat to watch them enjoy it together.  I can't explain how much I love seeing the connection between my mom and my kids.  They have also bonded so much with extended family in the past year, too.  It's amazing what freedom with your time can produce in relationships.

Not only do we have free time to simply be with our loved ones, but we have the opportunity to get out and do things with them, whenever we feel like it!  I love that!  If someone calls me up and asks if we're available to do a favor, or to meet somewhere, or do something, I can usually say, "Yes!"  This is especially wonderful when someone in the family has work hours that are not the norm.  My boyfriend has limited time to spend with us, and it's so nice that our schedule can easily work around his.  It allows us to be able to hang out and do things when he can, and that makes us all happy.

I absolutely enjoy the hours upon hours I get to spend with my children every single day.  I love how much time we get to spend with family, and the irreplaceable bond it creates.  I cherish the fact that my daughters are very best friends.  Truly, "the best thing" for me, is the freedom we have to intentionally live life with our loved ones, and to enjoy every moment with them to the fullest.

*This post was included in the Unschooling Blog Carnival for October 2012.  Stop by and read the other great entries!

And we're still going...

"How many seconds left?" my oldest asked as our shoes repeatedly hit the loose rocks on the road.  I glanced at my phone, and more than seconds were left.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her in return.  She didn't seem out of breath, so I wondered what was bothering her.

"Okay," she answered, "Just my side hurts a little."

"Make sure your posture is good.  Don't forget to breath," I told her.  We had 2 and a half minutes left of that particular interval of running.

We were on Week 4 Day 2 of the Couch to 5K running program, and it was only our second day of running 5 minutes straight.  I remember the first time I realized she was a natural at running.  We were at a homeschool p.e. group in Virginia, and the coach was running the kids for a warmup.  We had arrived late, and she asked me if she could go catch up with the other kids.  After I gave the okay, I watched her sprint to the back of the group and steadily catch up with a group of older kids.  She was pretty quick.

After moving to Texas, I had put her in another homeschool p.e. class, and she had a great time, but she told me she wanted to do something where she could earn a medal or trophy.  I couldn't (and still can't) afford monthly payments for competitive type activities, such as dance or martial arts, yet, and I racked my brain for ideas on what she could work on.  When I remembered her natural knack for running, I decided to see if she was interested in training together.  Her eyes lit up when I told her about the local 5K races, and how kids could enter, too.

At first, she was running at a faster pace than she could maintain, since she was so used to sprinting to simply catch up with someone.  "We're going for distance," I had explained to her, "not speed so much.  We want to be able to keep going for a longer time."

"Oh, so not like a cheetah?" she had asked. "They can run super fast, but not for a long time."

I laughed, "Exactly.  Not like a cheetah."

So, we had been working for 4 weeks on not being cheetahs.  At that point, as she was slowing down slightly, I could tell she wanted to quit, perhaps not out of pain, maybe out of boredom.  (We run just on our end of the street, as there is hardly ever traffic, so it is quite repetitive.)  "We have to teach our bodies what they can do,"  I said, "We can keep going."

She smiled, "Yeah."  A few more steps went by.

"See?" I asked her, "We're still going."  Her smile was infectious as I looked sideways at her.  A few seconds later, "And we're still going!  Every time we run, we're helping our bodies to be able to run longer.  We're getting stronger."

"And we'll be able to do the whole race?" she asked.

"Yes, we'll be able to do the whole race," I answered.  About a minute later I added, "And we're still going!"  She laughed at me for repeating myself again.  I laughed back at her, "You're doing great."

Finally, the C25K app dinged at us and told us to start walking.  I smiled at her, "See? You kept going!  Good job!"  I gave her a high-five.  Her expression was proud and excited.

By the end of the day's run we were both feeling awesome.  It's been wonderful to bond while we're running together and mutually working towards a goal.  The C25K program has been great.  It hasn't pushed us too hard to where we're sore and exhausted the next day, but we can definitely tell a difference in our ability to run.  It's gotten easier every week to keep going.  We both cannot wait for our first race!

A Jump Start on Our Journey Back to Us

Our lives were changed drastically and abruptly a little over a year ago, without having even the slightest chance to fight back.  My daughters and I are finally finding some semblance of a new "normal."  It's been a long year, and as much as I wish it were so, our new normal resembles nothing of our past life.

Yet, anyway.

Actually, in some ways, that's a blessing, but this is in regards to how we learned and played and lived our daily life.

One innocent moment can entirely change your perspective, or disillusionment, if you will.  I was laying on the couch one day, keeping to myself while I took a break.  My oldest walked up and asked, "What's the matter?"

I answered, "Oh, I don't know, baby.  I'm just feeling down today."

"Yeah," she said simply, "You have a lot of days like that, especially since The Separation."  She said it with such definitiveness.   She knew.  So young, and yet, she knew.  And I realized at that moment, how much I had let my ex's actions and decisions infect my life.  How much I had let him steal from my precious children even after I fought so hard to keep their life in tact as much as possible.  I had lost my joy, my purpose, my excitement, my passion.  I had allowed it all to be sucked out of me, and my children were the ones who suffered for it.

When we lived in Virginia, in our past life, we filled our days with walks to the nearby park, visits to the library, Bible study groups, homeschooling groups, Girl Scout meetings, play dates with friends, trips to the museums, spontaneous arts and crafts projects, hiking, and nature walks.  We enjoyed every single day.  We found beauty in everything.

Sadly, this past year has been nothing like that.  Many times I felt empty and directionless.  My motivation was seriously lacking. We have managed to fill our time with distractions.  We're not exploring, we're not investigating in that active, wondrous way we used to.  Instead, we turned to an almost passive life experience.

Perhaps, I'm being too hard on myself. I needed this year to heal. I needed time to get over things, people, and hurts.  Thankfully, my kids have been pretty understanding.  It also helped that we have some amazing, loving people in our lives, now, who have made us feel extremely loved and cherished over the past year.

Regardless, I've realized that the biggest area affected in all this is our day to day life, mainly because I am still a stay at home mom, and my kids are still homeschooled.  So, I have a new goal, and that is to get back to our passionate selves.  To get out there and explore, even though we now live in a much smaller town, and we don't know too many people yet.  I want to make opportunities for my daughters to live mightily, to meet new people and love them mightily, and to learn mightily, not just passively.

I guess I just needed (another) jump start, and I got one.  Hopefully, this time it will keep me going.